A matter of conditioning?

Is everything we do or say a matter of conditioning? Does that mean that respect for parents and elders is up for debate and should not be taken for granted ONLY because we have been conditioned to do so? That the importance of good manners is up for debate because after all, that too is a matter of conditioning? Should we take a fresh look at the accepted societal prohibitions against murder, theft and all manner of dishonest behaviour just because we have been conditioned to accept these norms?
Why am I asking these questions? Because recently, two incidents occurred during which crass behaviour on the part of youngsters was actually condoned with the explanation that the behaviour was only considered 'crass' and "disrespectful' because we have been conditioned to do so.
In one case, a child told her father to shut up. On being reprimanded, her response was "but you are my father!" - the logic being if she can't tell her father to shut up, who could she say it to? My opinion? Not the father, not anyone! It was just gross bad manners - and if not corrected, likely to carry over into her adult life when it will be brought home to her forcebly that she can't get away with teling anyone to shut up!
In another case, a teenage boy tells his Mom not to be an idiot. The mother laughs it away... Since when is it right for a child to call his parent an idiot? Why would he ever want to respect her if she lets him get away with such crass bad manners? But I forget - good manners and respect and politeness are only society's conditioning. They are not necessarily correct or right or part of the mandate that society expects us to follow. We could debate these and do away with them.
After all, it's all a matter of conditioning! So is murder and mayhem and terrorism...