There are no free lunches!

Should one walk out? Or not? Should one leave the cocooned comfort of a luxury home...
And face the poisoned barbs of a self-satisfied, self-indulgent, self-righteous, hypocritical society?

While these were questions that really didn't apply to me 30 years ago... (I wish I had had to struggle with the idea of leaving a luxury home! No such luck!) they are questions that a lot of women face while struggling with that famous "To be or not to be?" situation that had the Prince of Denmark tearing his hair out.

Imagine this scenario: A wayward, bullying, megalomaniac or Don Juan of a husband whose mood changes are as unpredictable as the English weather; who likes to strut his stuff over wife and family by denying, and then showering them, with money, gifts and what have you. Expecting them to forgive and forget - because he says so! In short bribing them into submission! And silence!

The wives are faced with the (likely) loss of most of the money they have got so used to spending lavishly; cars and drivers and servants at their beck and call; expensive clothes and top-of-the-line gadgets they didn't think twice before buying. And, of course, society putting them under a microscope!

So what can these women expect to hear from their fellow sisters? "Ohhhh... Did you hear about Mrs. So and So? She left her husband! And he's SUCH a charming man. Met him just the other day at that party at Mrs. C's... I wonder now...why do you think she left him? Do you think...(and you can put in any reason that the most over-heated imagination can cook up)".

As for the men, they go into over-drive on the lines of..."Well, now that she is a divorcee, I just have to snap my fingers and she'll come running! After all, she must be soooo frustrated... and looking for you know what!" ask me about it! I was at the receiving end not once but twice!

No wonder Jack Welch's wife took him to the cleaners as did Clint Eastwood's and Harrison Ford's. And, while in India, we can't do as much damage as they can in the US of A, the aggrieved wife is entitled to a very large share of the husband's wealth - money and position that she helped him grow!

So, my words of wisdom to all the women out there: We have only one life, and in some cases a pretty short one, don't waste it on that useless, inconsiderate, selfish, MCP, so-called "high achiever" of a husband who comes home to "mommy" and wails and moans and throws temper tantrums that his Mom should have had the good sense to stop when he was two!

Men whose egos are the size of the Himalayas but deflate faster than a pricked balloon at imagined slights, or just because his wife might be as smart, as clever, as successful or better liked and more popular than he. Men who want to ride rough shod over thoughts, feelings, emotions, norms of civil behavior - who think a wife is along for a free ride, a chattel to be bought, sold or otherwise disposed off depending on the Lord and Master's whims and fancies.

Ladies, it's not worth it! Take it from me. I have been there, done it! And while life has been tough, I have enjoyed every minute of it. And, when the dust settles, so will you. Because you will be FREE!!!!