Quietly into the night he went...

I was asked to speak at a memorial service for my uncle today. But I refused. Why? When I had so much to say about him? Because I had so much to say about him and I didn't think I would last the course. Choking up in front of a 100 odd people was not my most favourite situation.
So what did I want to say about him? What could I say that hadn't already been said by countless folk who have been flooding into his home since that early morning when he "went quietly into the night"? A quiet gentlemen who went quietly away with a minimum of fuss and bother... like he lived his life, with no fanfare, no dramatic gestures.
I don't think any of us will truly realise what he added to our lives in all these years...
The way he maintained and remained in contact with the people he befriended and cared about. And the effort was really all his - no question about it.
The way he dispensed sage advice and wisdom accompanied by dollops of common sense.
The way he encouraged a reality check when he felt that one was being carried away.
He was always punctual, always forbearing, always in control, very rarely lost "it" and I never heard him raise his voice unnecessarily or hurt anyone's feelings.
He was professional, ethical and principled with the bar raised very high on professional matters.
So was he a saint or a paragon? No he wasn't. In the last year of his life he was a touch impatient, a touch less tolerant and tended to forget things now and then. But that was really in the last year.
I have known my Buchu Kaku since I was five years old... I think he still thought of me as being five! He influenced me in many ways - not least that he was responsible for my wonderful 37+ years in advertising because he got me my first job!
He gave women their due - Pran K Choudhury could never be called an MCP. He gave his wife the freedom to be what she wanted to be and, perhaps, this involvement with her raison de etre will help her come to terms with her great loss.
He was a decent, caring, generous man who nurtured a close and loving family and brought up decent, clever and good kids who grew up to be achievers without ever losing touch with humanity.
Admittedly for much of the last 25 years Buchu Kaku and I lived on separate continents - mostly out of touch but never out of mind. Because when we did again catch up with each other, it was as if the intervening years had never been! Little did I know that soon enough we would go our separate ways, yet again, but I do hope that when we do meet up it will be as always a great meeting with loads of catching up to do.